


Nerf guns and haunted fridge magnets

by ThatsrightZoeyeyye



Series: NaNoWriMo 2019 (but i'm cheating a little bit) [6]
Category: Firebringer - Team StarKid, StarKid Productions RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I'm really sorry, it was a lot of fun to write, so basically i took a whole list of 30 prompts and used them all in 1 fic, the meme fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 14:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatsrightZoeyeyye/pseuds/ThatsrightZoeyeyye
Summary: “I slept through class,” Molag said, as some of their roommates came in to listen, “which doesn't sound that bad, but then you realize I'm the teacher.”Everyone snickered. It really was the kind of thing that happened to Molag.“You think you're dumb?” Keeri exclaimed. “I once tried to drink a chicken leg through a straw.”





	Nerf guns and haunted fridge magnets

**Author's Note:**

> So charlie-bean on tumblr made prompt lists, and one of them came across my dash. I kind of wanted to ask for requests, but they were all so fun I wanted to write them all. So my sleep-deprived brain decided to use them all in one fic yesterday evening. And this morning I decided to still do it, even after a good night's sleep. I can't explain.

Here's a copy of the prompts list, for context:  
1\. "I'm dancing in my kitchen by myself."  
2\. "I got kicked out because I danced to jazz music in the bathrooms."  
3\. "This looks like Sumerian sudoku."  
4."Bitch those ain't my fucking pronouns."  
5\. "I shall never live off of spite and coffee!"  
6\. "I just want to make a small explosion."  
7."That reminds me, I have a haunted fridge magnet I've been meaning to get rid of."  
8\. "Beep beep. Now move."  
9\. "The one day I don't take the stairs is the one fucking time the elevator breaks."  
10."You need to eat, child." "I'm 2 years older than you!"  
11\. "My shirt has parrots on it and you can fight me!"  
12\. "I'm think of the consequences if spontaneous human combustion were real, how about you?"  
13\. "I WELCOME DEATH!"  
14\. "The ceiling could be melting and I will hold out my arms and welcome it."  
15\. "Watching this is causing me physical pain."  
16\. "I slept through class, which doesn't sound that bad, but then you realize I'm the teacher."  
17\. "I crave validation from others."  
18\. "You think you're dumb? I once tried to drink a chicken leg through a straw."  
19\. "Why are you on my couch, you don't live here."  
20\. "She's so nice and sweet.... She's probably a secret serial killer or something."  
21."You sat in a chair and complained, you don't get to take any credit."  
22\. "Gravity pitched me in a fight with my table, and I lost."  
23\. "You're being more extra than guac from Chipotle."  
24\. "My father is a bit of a... sensitive subject."  
25\. "I swear to god [name] if you don't shut the hell up I will staple your thumbs together."  
26\. "How does someone accidentally staple something to their shoe?"  
27\. "I wanna fucking cuddle you."  
28\. "It may be 3 o'clock in the afternoon, but it is too early for your bullshit."  
29\. "Drink a soda and calm the fuck down, [name]."  
30\. "I'm sick. You're lucky I haven't upgraded from cough drops to Dayquil shots."

* * *

Zazzalil's phone buzzed. She stopped dancing, and saw that her girlfriend was calling. She picked up her phone and answered the call.

“Why aren't you at the library?” Jemilla asked, her voice showing both worry and annoyance. “I was supposed to meet you there.”

“I got kicked out because I danced to Jazz music in the bathrooms.” Zazzalil shrugged.

“Danced to-” Jemilla huffed. “Anyway. What are you doing?”

“I'm dancing in my kitchen by myself.”

There was a silence, and Zazzalil could picture the puzzled look on her girlfriend's face. She smiled. Jemilla looked adorable when she did that. Finally, her voice rung out again.

“Okay. I'll be home in five minutes, try not to get hurt in the meantime.

“Sure thing, babe.”

They hung up. Molag walked in the kitchen and sat down at the table.

“I'm so fucking dumb.”

“What happened, Molag?” Zazzalil asked, not sure whether or not she was ready for another of the woman's crazy stories. She might have been twenty years older than the rest of them, but she wasn't any more organized. It was comforting, in a way, to know that they didn't have to become stuck up and boring when they were adults. It was also scary: she had thought she would understand how to be responsible at some point. As it turned out, she would have to work on that, it wouldn't just happen.

“I slept through class,” Molag said, as some of their roommates came in to listen, “which doesn't sound that bad, but then you realize I'm the teacher.”

Everyone snickered. It really was the kind of thing that happened to Molag.

“You think you're dumb?” Keeri exclaimed. “I once tried to drink a chicken leg through a straw.”

They all smiled at the memory. New Year's Eve had been fun.

“I once accidentally stapled a banana peel to my shoe.” SB told them. The room went silent.

“How does someone accidentally staple something to their shoe ?” Ducker breathed out, confused. “Why are you so weird?”

“I swear to god Ducker,” SB cried out, “if you don't shut the hell up I will staple your thumbs together.”

Zazzalil patted his shoulder.

“Drink a soda and calm the fuck down, SB.”

“I don't want to”, he pouted, “I'm not hungry.”

“You need to eat, child.” Tiblyn said.

“I'm two years older than you.” he growled.

“Come on, Smelly-Balls” Zazzalil sighed. “There's food in the fridge. You can just-”

“That reminds me,” he interrupted her. “I have a haunted fridge magnet I've been meaning to get rid of.”

“A what,” Tiblyn sputtered.

“A haunted fridge magnet.”

He pointed to something on the fridge.

“This looks like a sumerian sudoku.” Emberly stated.

“Em, do you even know what a sumerian sudoku is?” Molag asked. She shrugged in response.

“Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's going to be our doom,” SB explained. “Like the ceiling is going to melt and kill us all or something.”

“The ceiling could be melting and I will hold out my arms and welcome it.” Schwoopsie whimpered from behind her cup of coffee.

“I WELCOME DEATH” Jemilla's voice rung out from the living room. Everyone left the kitchen to see their tired-looking roommate hanging her coat.

“The one day I don't take the stairs is the one fucking time the elevator breaks.” she fumed.

“Why did want to use the elevator?” Zazzalil asked, surprised. “Aren't you supposed to be environment-friendly?”

“I'm exhausted.” Jemilla sighed. “I really wasn't ready to climb six flights of stairs.”

“Want some coffee?” Schwoopsie proposed as she walked into the room.

“I shall never live off of spite and coffee.” she answered dramatically. No one seemed really taken aback, they had gotten used to their friend's flair for the dramatic when she was tired. Her eyes scanned the room, and she frowned upon seeing Grunt lying on the sofa.

“Why are you on my couch?” she asked. “You don't live here.”

“Emberly said it was okay for me to come,” he shrugged, “I _have_ been dating her for three years, in case you haven't noticed.”

“What are you doing here anyway? It's early.” Tiblyn pointed out.

“I'm thinking of the consequences if spontaneous human combustion were real, how about you?” she replied blankly.

Zazzalil snickered.

“I wanna fucking cuddle you.”

“I just want to make a small explosion.” Jemilla murmured in a weak voice, staring at nothing, sighing again.

Silence filled the room, only interrupted by Chorn, looking up from their phone.

“Guys, my dad is coming over.”

Everyone tensed, some frowned. Grunt just looked confused. He might have been dating Emberly for three years, but he was still completely clueless as to what was happening around him, all the time.

“What's happening?”

“My father is a bit of a...” they hesitated, “sensitive subject.”

“Why?”

“He keeps misgendering me on purpose, so the other day I told him 'bitch those ain't my fucking pronouns', and he got mad, so he refused to let me buy the Nerf gun I wanted to give Zazz for her birthday.”

“It sounds like you're more upset about the Nerf gun than the pronouns.” Grunt said. “Is it just me?”

“Thank God we managed to convince him to let them buy it anyway.” Schwoopsie added. “That Nerf gun really is awesome.”

“What do you mean, 'we'?” SB scoffed. “You sat in a chair and complained, you don't get to take credit.”

“I have the right to complain,” she protested, “I'm sick. You're lucky I haven't upgraded from cough drops to Dayquil shots.”

“You're being more extra than guac from Chipotle,” Emberly chuckled.

Jemilla looked even more tired than we she came in.

“Watching this is causing me physical pain.”

She stood there for a time, while everyone excitedly talked about all the fun they had with Zazzalil's new Nerf gun. Then, she turned to Ducker, who was curled up on the floor. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Gravity pitched me in a fight with my table, and I lost,” he explained.

Everyone turned to him and laughed. Keeri looked worried.

“Are you okay, Ducker?”

Grunt turned to Emberly.

“She's so nice and sweet...” he whispered to her, “she's probably a serial killer or something.”

Keeri heard him.

“My shirts has parrots on it and you can fight me.” she said, as if it explained something. “Would a serial killer do this?”

“You don't think you could be serial killer?” Schwoopsie asked.

“Murder sounds fun, but I don't think people would like me. Except I crave validation from others.”

“Mood...” Tiblyn murmured.

Jemilla turned her attention back to Ducker.

“You're still in the middle of the way. I have to go to the bathroom.”

“I'm in pain,” he chocked out.

“Beep-beep.” she nudged him with her foot. “Now move.”

“Can you at least help me up?”

“It may be 3 o'clock in the afternoon,” Jemilla sighed, “but it is too early for your bullshit.”

She stepped over him and walked up the stairs.

**Author's Note:**

> The Nerf gun from my fic 'In hindsight, we should have seen this coming' got a cameo. Say hello :)  
I'm really sorry, by the way.


End file.
